Matters of Heart & Mind Series
The World Happiness Report 2017 puts India at 122 on their happiness rank out of 155 countries in total. It is a depressing statistic but doesn’t really come as a surprise. As psychologists and counsellors, we come across so many people with a common issue and challenge that they face – they are not ‘happy’! It is such an overbearing feeling in people’s lives that it overshadows everything else. The joy of taking pleasure from small things is not even considered at.
The question now arises that, what does being happy really entail and can we make it a permanent state of our mind and being? The answer is a definite yes.
Like anything positive, being happy starts with our own selves. It is a wonderful permutation of letting go and embracing – things, ideas, actions, as well as people. If we start making a list, we can make a book out of it but I will only jot down what’s at the top of my mind – the daily mantras I am teaching myself to live by. These I believe are the skeleton, the building blocks of bringing happiness to our lives – both personally and professionally.
Be kind – in words and deeds – for it brings meaning to our lives, and after all the world is always short on this.
Be mindful – be aware of what you are feeling, experiencing – without trying to find a meaning in it.
Believe in Karma – what goes around definitely comes around.
Eliminate these toxic people/ relationships from your life:
Those who sap away your positive energy; and those who dump you with their negative waste.
Those who get happy when you are down; and those who get down when you are happy
Those who take all your credit; and those who pass on their blames.
Those who mourn your success; and celebrate your failures.
Those who manipulate your feelings, and those who would never reveal their true personality.
Most importantly, we need to identify if any of such elements exist in us. If it does – we need to work on exterminating it.
5. Identify people who give you joy – selflessly – and don’t let them go.
6. Love yourself – if you won’t, who will?
7. Respect others – and more importantly respect yourself.
8. Don’t dwell on past, or look out for future – Live life today, for it will pass us by before we know.
9. Do something you love – read, cook, write, dance anything – at least for half an hour a day. Something which is people-independent.
10. Lastly, be nice – but not too nice, for the world might consider it your weakness.
All this is of course easier said than done. Practicing such seemingly simple principles in reality is not as easy and simple. For often our hearts take over our minds, our emotions play spoilsport, our memories flood us at the wrong moments, and most importantly we don’t want to let go of status-quo as we are get so comfortable with it – however unjoyful that may be.
Whenever we struggle to find happiness, we need to remember: the days might be long; but the life is short. Live it, enjoy it, revel in it – while it lasts!
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light”
– Albus Dumbledore in J.K. Rowling’s ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’
P.S.: I would love to hear how you find your happy place – your mantra – your ticket to happiness!
Originally published on LinkedIn
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