Doctors say that when kids are growing up they feel pain –popularly known as ‘Growing Pains’ – as a result of getting bigger. However, parents also experience this pain – albeit in a different way!
Facebook today threw up a memory – of my daughter from 6 years back. It was hard to believe time has flown by so fast, so soon. She is going to go double digit next year and is only half a foot shorter than me (Well I am shorter than average Indian females, so that definitely works in her favor!). My son, 5 years old now – something he mentions at least twice a day and is extremely proud of – will start full day school from next year. He is growing at his own pace – mentally as well as physically and hates to be rushed, but I know within years he will tower over me. All this makes my husband very happy as he will soon have two assistants to join in his monthly ritual of cleaning ceiling fans. I will benefit too, as I would no longer need step stools and ladders to reach top shelves.
As a mother, seeing them grow at this pace makes my heart swell with happiness and pride – but a piece of it also aches. Our daughter co-slept with us till our son came. She shifted to a side bed and has eventually gone to her own room. Our son sleeps with us now in phases – there are times he refuses to sleep in his room while at other times he would want his own space. At some other times, he wakes up in the middle of the night and rushes over to us and I am more than happy to accommodate him. Very rare are also such moments when all four of us have to squeeze in together and mostly end up kicking one another through the night. However inconvenient these might me, I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything else. For I know, very soon I will have the large bed to us with no one to climb on our faces at night. I was warned by several well-wishers about the perils of co-sleeping but I didn’t pay much heed to those well-meaning opinions and went with the flow.
Their prams and strollers got replaced with walkers and tricycles which eventually were traded with bicycles – and bicycles which need to be height adjusted every half-yearly. The elder one got off with her trainer wheels a couple of years back and just the other day my husband was gearing himself to go on that ordeal with my headstrong son. And that particular piece of my heart ached again. My son’s school schedule makes me postpone or not take up on several work and social commitments, but the next six-months – till he goes to a full-day school are the only time I am going to watch silly cartoons with him, or take our afternoon siestas.
The point is, our kids are growing too fast. They will outgrow their play-dohs, rhymes, bath toys, and riddles. Plonk them on the kitchen countertop and let them help you cook and bake and make a mess. Choose a song and put it on a loop and dance with them till you are out of your breath. Hug them and cuddle them and kiss them till they run away. Call them by their nicknames and all the other silly ones till they let you. Put down the book you are reading and turn off the TV you are watching and make stories with them. Make faces with them and paint with them and do everything you want. And most importantly, give them all the love in your heart and then some more. For they’ll grow up right before our eyes and we wouldn’t even realize.
It’s not that I don’t lose it on them, every once in a while. But I have some beautiful people in my life who set me straight and see what it’s all worth. For once, throw all the needless parenting debates and opinions out that window – close your ears to all the advice – and just love your child. They will grow up before we know it, they will fly away, they’ll make their own memories and babies. And with that ache in our heart we’ll wait for the yearly treasured visits from them, try to find our child in theirs – just as our parents are doing today.
Originally written for mycity4kids.com and published here.
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